Anger is an emotion that is very difficult to manage. People who have a problem with anger tend to obsess over "should-s" and "must-s." They tend to think about their own feelings and the thoughts of others. They may ignore the positive things in life, or they may allow small irritations to build up to the "final straw." Then they blow up over something that really should not have bothered them in the first place.
At an apparent level, we may feel that anger is bad, only when it is uncontrollable, as it can potentially lead to violent behaviors. But that is not the case. ALL anger is bad in one way or another, because it leads to a lower sense of self-worth and wellness!
We find that at times, anger is exhibited in more passive ways, such as sulking or ignoring people. In the latter case, a person may attempt to hide their feelings or harm themselves. Self-harm is most common among young people. These behaviors are often the result of past experiences that were never fully processed and expressed.
Therefore, learning to identify the causes of your anger and then addressing the core points can help you feel more empowered and in better control of your feelings.
At an apparent level, we may feel that anger is bad, only when it is uncontrollable, as it can potentially lead to violent behaviors. But that is not the case. ALL anger is bad in one way or another, because it leads to a lower sense of self-worth and wellness!
We find that at times, anger is exhibited in more passive ways, such as sulking or ignoring people. In the latter case, a person may attempt to hide their feelings or harm themselves. Self-harm is most common among young people. These behaviors are often the result of past experiences that were never fully processed and expressed.
Therefore, learning to identify the causes of your anger and then addressing the core points can help you feel more empowered and in better control of your feelings.
You will realize that no one external has true power over you! Others cannot push your buttons… because ultimately you hold the key to how you feel. Instead of feelings merely happening to you, as if they were some 'reaction' to others people's triggering actions, you will realize that you have the ability to choose your thoughts and actions and these in turn will determine how you feel!
At the onset, keep a simple goal- where your starting aim could be to reduce the amount of anger you feel in any given instance and reduce the time it takes you to restore back to normal balanced functioning before the triggering situation.
Learning to not only manage anger, but actually "letting it go"… takes time, discipline, and sometimes even specialized help. In this regards, close friends, well-caring family members or a close-knit support group, such as a spiritual community can help you in myriad of ways to understand the underlying issues behind the anger. They can help you to strategically resolve them, while at the same time, also provide loving support to address and overcome those challenges.
There is an ancient teaching by The Buddha which clearly indicates how being angry is not only futile, it is actually detrimental and self-harming!
At the onset, keep a simple goal- where your starting aim could be to reduce the amount of anger you feel in any given instance and reduce the time it takes you to restore back to normal balanced functioning before the triggering situation.
Learning to not only manage anger, but actually "letting it go"… takes time, discipline, and sometimes even specialized help. In this regards, close friends, well-caring family members or a close-knit support group, such as a spiritual community can help you in myriad of ways to understand the underlying issues behind the anger. They can help you to strategically resolve them, while at the same time, also provide loving support to address and overcome those challenges.
There is an ancient teaching by The Buddha which clearly indicates how being angry is not only futile, it is actually detrimental and self-harming!
| Teachings of The Buddha: Getting angry is futile! It is like you are holding a hot coal and expect someone else to get burnt! It does not work that way. You may feel that someone has wronged you or is truly out of line- but when you hold on to anger, you just end up hurting yourself. It is best to let it go... |
Keep in mind that choosing not to be angry is NOT about condoning a situation or someone's actions/ behavior! Letting go of anger is not the same as 'agreement'.
What you are doing by letting go of anger is that- you do not let any external situation or any person have control over your inner well-being. By "letting go of anger", you choose to take back your power which you can then steer towards taking appropriate actions to address the situation… take actions that are in accordance with the Universal principles and also your own wellbeing.
What you are doing by letting go of anger is that- you do not let any external situation or any person have control over your inner well-being. By "letting go of anger", you choose to take back your power which you can then steer towards taking appropriate actions to address the situation… take actions that are in accordance with the Universal principles and also your own wellbeing.
continue reading...
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- Origin and progress of Buddhist Tantra and the various Buddhist Tantric Texts
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