​Today we will look at how we can best Handle Pesky situation or just plain snoopy, annoying people- who seem to be more interested in what is happening in your life than their own. Of course, it not true interest, but they are trying to see if you are having some problems or issues, so somewhere they can feel better about their own selves.

It is surely a very sad and sorry way of living, but many people do this- some knowingly and many many others are totally oblivious that they are doing it!! In fact, this is the reason why sensational, negative news have such extensive viewership. I will write another article about it at another time, make another video on that… but for today, we will look at how best to handle pesky, annoying people and sticky situations!
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So this is how things began... I was picking up a few fresh vegetables at our local grocery store and I bumped into this person who I knew from an old client site. I had hung out with her couple of times after work and now for a long time I had lost all touch with her. What was particularly interesting about this meeting was the ‘fake’ interest and pleasantries that we both were showing!! 

Does that sound familiar?? I suppose all of us who lead ‘normal’ lives come across people in stores, malls or even sometimes in the hallway- that we would rather avoid. But good social habits and sometimes cultural customs and norms- require us to be pleasant to them and greet- even when all our being would rather ‘run in the opposite direction’!!

I do not believe in typical pleasantries and usually if I do not have anything true or interesting to say to someone then I just avoid saying anything at all, as I don’t want to point fingers at anyone and create a negative scenario either!! But in this case, it was different… we were there right next to each other picking tomatoes and I had said the first ‘hello’ (oh, well!!) 😊

So, we meet and are chatting- asking those usual pesky questions of “Oh, how are you doing??”… “Great! What about you??”… now, the fakeness of this situation started to bother me, but other than being outright rude and walking away, there was not much I could do about it.

This got me thinking- hmm… how can I make the best of this situation?? Well… why don’t I observe my fakeness?? So, I started observing her, myself and our interaction with a calm awareness of an ‘observer’. Saying all those ‘correct’ things, hearing her response and so on. As we moved on and I got to the checkout lines where I am quite familiar with several of the staff (I have been shopping there for many years now), it was very amazing to feel the genuineness of our (the checkout staff and my) interaction. 

So, as I was walking home, it got me thinking… usually when we come across unpleasant situations, we try to close off our self. But instead of doing that, it is a far better method to open our self- and then, to observe the fakeness.

I actually felt like a movie or stage actor- I was playing a part of this nice pleasant person, greeting that old colleague and saying all those nice things- but somewhere it was almost like I was saying the drama-lines with conviction (like a good actor) but at the same time, I was consciously observing myself as the ‘do-er’ of that action- or should I say ‘my acting’. And this conscious way of observing and maintaining a calm, open presence helped me immensely because instead of resenting an unpleasant meeting, it felt great to connect with those with whom I genuinely connected!

We all come across scenarios where we meet someone who we would rather have not bumped into. Instead of feeling upset and then ‘trying’ to be nice to them on their face- “play the role of a pleasant person’- say and do the actions appropriate for the situation with total presence and conviction, but at the same time maintain your conscious awareness about yourself as the ‘do-er’ who is observing this ‘play being acted out’… this way you will not feel upset by closing yourself and harboring negativity. Instead because of conscious awareness and fun acting you will not only make the best of the situation but also maintain your openness to all people and interactions.

Though here I am speaking about chance meetings, we can use this same technique in any interaction where that other person usually draws out strong negative emotions from us. This could be that high-handed boss who chooses to pick on you and belittle you so he or she can look smarter.

​It can be a work colleague who often snoops in your work, so they can use that information to back-bite you and many other such situations where we do not expect it to be a pleasant interaction, but at the same time, somewhere we are required to be a part of it! Any time we dread an interaction because we feel it is going to be unpleasant, in all those situations, maintaining a conscious awareness with distancing can help immensely!!

Conscious observation and distancing with whatever required acting, or should I say conscious and active ‘role-playing’; allows us to conduct a situation in a healthy manner instead of “negative-fakeness’ which tends to build resentment and seething anger within us.

Categories:
Conscious Living,   How To...,   Our Path Our Journey,   Self Development  and   Spiritual Awareness
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Keywords and Tags:
#difficult #relationship #peopleinteractions   #people   #dealingwithdifficultpeople   #snooping   #calm #serenity   #annoying

We have all heard of stories from our grandmothers as to how when she was young, no one used to lock doors and windows in the house. Everyone trusted the other people and in general everyone had a more open attitude towards others.

​But, in today’s day and age that is unthinkable. Even as we are in the house we tend to keep our doors locked. In addition, we need to put in surveillance systems and other such technology that help to ensure that our house and other possessions are well monitored even when we are not around.

​This further leads to many cameras around our property and then we start to worry about privacy. We always tend to have curtains drawn down most of the time and wherever we go, we always seem to be aware of cameras and other prying eyes possibly watching us. THIS in turn makes us feel further unsecure and we are always looking for more ways to feel ‘secure and comfortable’.

Now, I totally agree that time have changed since our grandmother’s days. We do need proper locks and security systems. As we always discuss here… in the material world we need to act as per what is required (as a correct action/response) in a particular situation.

​What I would like to draw everyone’s attention is to the fact that what protects us, can also imprison us. The more possessions we get and more valuable those possessions, that much more we ensure it is properly secured under lock and key and even special safes and bank vaults. But this behavior trend is not limited to our possessions. We are increasingly skeptical of people around us.

Globalization now puts us in contact with many people from very varied background than that is most familiar to us. But instead of being truly ‘inquiring’- trying to learn about that person, their culture and beliefs; many a times we go with depicted stereotypes, which at best are a few people’s experience- which even if true for most people, may still not be true for that particular individual (with whom you are dealing).

We need to protect and nurture our sense of adventure and wonder. Adventure is not about jumping off planes or climbing high cliffs- true adventure is to experience life with total and complete involvement. To experience what is… and this cannot be done if we are already influenced by our preconceived notions or we have already pre-set expectations.

Yes, there are those who feel that their existence can be protected by harming others and because of rampant deception and aggression (and even violence in many cases); it is important to be cautious- but make sure that what is meant to protect you does not stifle you or your life-experience, enjoyment and overall well-being.

Reflect  within yourself to ensure that what is meant to protect and benefit you does not end up imprisoning you within the confines of dogmatic beliefs and automatic thought-less actions!!

Categories:
Conscious Living,   How To...,   Our Path Our Journey,   Self Development  and   Spiritual Awareness
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Keywords and Tags:
#openyourmind #dogmaticbeliefs #imprisonment #freeyoursoul #freedom #fundamentalism #consciousliving   #ascension   #maitreyiparadigm   #maitreyigautam   #soullessons   #soullearning

​Those of you who know me, know that I left India and have settled in the west several years ago. Though it is my dream to travel through India one of these days, for right now my knowledge of its current geography and economic development is truly limited to news sites, people’s notes and comments and of course Bollywood/ TV shows!!

Recently I was speaking to someone from Bihar- which historically was one of the most developed regions in India. Several ancient Greek, Chinese as well as other scientists and philosophers came to study at the famous Nalanda University. The Bodhi tree where Siddhartha achieved his enlightenment and became Gautama- The Buddha is also in this state. There are so many other historically significant and amazing things about this state. BUT, by the same token, sadly over the more recent history, this once glorious state has been reduced from it’s once fame to more ‘notoriety’ because of  increase in poverty, crime, and in general impoverishment of its residents!

​​As someone, who is more aware of this ‘de-famed’ region did not know that over the last 5 to 10 years, things have drastically improved in the state. Bihar was always famous for its rich natural resources and with good governance and leadership, it is rapidly developing and catching up to again being an economically (and culturally) developed region of India.

Why am  I writing all this?? You see, when I was speaking to this colleague at my client site, I made a few comments which were based on my old view. Initially, he was interpreting them with his view of the region (the currently developed version)… so apparently there seemed to be much disconnect between us.

It was a personal chat. I could sense his dissonance and explained to him how my notions were old, as I had been living outside India for a long time. We chatted some more and he helped me to gain a better perspective of today’s modern and developed (or should I say- revived) Bihar! BUT it also made me think on how conversations typically go.

We all hear and speak from our memory and our experience of life. The other person is interpreting it from their experience and knowledge and many a times there is a ‘difference’ that we never seem to stop and account for!!
We humans learn and operate based on memory!! If I was to say “apple”- the reason you understand what I mean is because, somewhere in your mind, you saw a “juicy red apple”.  

​Well, you see… it is not just about the fact that you saw a red apple and understood what I said… what if you only liked and ate the green Granny Smith variety of apple and so that is what you saw in your mind. So even though most people would think of apples as sweet, for you they are nice when tart!! 

Now as humans we relate with such patterns all the time. When it is something objective (like an apple), it gets comparatively easier- because I could say a sweet apple and if you were thinking of tart-apple, then you would question saying- hey apples are not sweet, they are tarty… then I will explain- how I meant the red Gala apples and we would be all good!!

When we are conscious of the possibility that “what I understand may not be what he or she is saying”- then it allows us to be more humble in our approach. Then we can be more inquiring into what someone is really saying, what they are trying to convey! 

​​Conscious Listening can surely help to cut down on many arguments and miscommunications!! Also, it can help us to really observe and understand people, situations and things as they are and not as per our own ‘preconceived ideas and notions’. 

Conscious Listening can help us to take practical steps in mitigating our usual ‘karmic’ way of experiencing, interacting and interpreting all that happens around us!! 

Categories:
Conscious Living,   How To...,   Our Path Our Journey,   Self Development  and   Spiritual Awareness
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Keywords and Tags:
#consciousliving   #ascension   #soulmessages   #listening   #heartolisten   #maitreyiparadigm   #maitreyigautam   #consciouslistening   #soullessons   #soullearning

​Gratitude is a very powerful emotion. It can break un-seen and unspoken barriers. It has the capacity to pass through seemingly unsurmountable walls- which people build around them. It can help to bridge gaps and connect us with all and everything around us.

​How is this possible? Because of one simple reason- We all like to be recognized, because it is a very simple and basic human need. 

​We do many things throughout the day- for our family, at work for our friends and sometimes even strangers. It could be some household chore (that we always do) like making breakfast or cleaning the dishes or it can be one-off thing like helping out a friend with some money.

How do we feel when someone says “thank you” to us? I am not speaking about that careless “thanks” which is clearly said in a thoughtless manner, I am speaking of when someone says “Thank You” and they really mean it. You can see it in their eyes and hear it in their voice. In fact, when people truly mean their gratitude then many a times them saying “thank you” out loud just becomes more of courtesy!!

… and how does  that make you feel?? Good, isn’t it? We all like and want to add value to others and when we hear a thank you, somewhere it validates the value, the service we provided that person or persons. 

Also, most people tend to thoughtlessly pass thru their day, mechanically doing their tasks. They pass by their work colleagues and even their family members with simply half-grunted words that have been said more out of habit than any thought behind those words or greetings!! 

​Most people are so engrossed in their own world that many a times they don’t even seem to ‘see’ all those people who surround them!!

So, when they say “thank you” they acknowledge our presence. They acknowledge not only what we have done for them, but appreciate us for who we are- since ultimately who we are- our way of thinking, our beliefs and so on is what has allowed us to do what we did for them!! 

So when they thank us, somewhere they acknowledge and reinforce our primal need to be recognized and validated- as a value adding individual!!

You feel this way when others acknowledge what you have done for them. So when you express gratitude, you say ‘thank you’… you given them that same attention, validation recognition and this makes them feel good. They warm up and connect to you. This builds bridges and strengthens relationships.

Starting today- make it a point to express gratitude to all those people who do things for you- particularly those people who you typically take for granted- like your parents or spouse or household help or cleaning staff, the bus or train driver, the office peon and so on. 

You don’t have to always verbally say a ‘thank you’- though whenever possible, try to say it out loud as well… but definitely make it a point to truly recognize the joy, love, goodness or service a person brings to your life. And be grateful… when you are thankful to them you are also expressing gratitude for the Divine providence that exists in your life.

After all it is because of Divine presence and providence that those people are in your life, adding value and providing you service and at times even love and comfort!!

Remember: Gratitude is the best attitude and it is ultimately it is our Attitude which determines our altitude- i.e. our achievements and accomplishments in life!! 

Categories:
Conscious Living,   Our Path Our Journey,   Self Development  and   Spiritual Awareness
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Keywords and Tags:
#gratitude #thankyou #givingthanks   #appreciation   #grateful    #appreciate #maitreyigautam #thanksgiving 

There was a time when we used watches to determine when to meet someone. Maybe also use them to fix up some group events and so on. That was about it. But how did we get from being the ones, setting up a time- to being enslaved by time! 

If we look around, most of us seem to be running- mostly at break neck speed. Running where? Running why? Sadly people don’t take the time to even stop and answer themselves, because they are worried they will be late for some event or miss out on the next "happening" thing.

​Slowly our life is totally governed by our watches. Part of being a “mover and a shaker” is supposed to be how busy our life is and how many activities and events we have going on?

What I am covering here is not about should you do/not many activities in a day. It is about truly “living your life” not just spending each day doing activities.

Even though life is a series of actions and activities, there are many other important dimensions to life and reducing our daily existence to merely work and tasks, reduces us to become slaves of time! 

Categories:
Conscious Living,   Comfortable Living,   Life Management,   Our Path Our Journey ,   Self Development  and   Spiritual Awareness
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Keywords and Tags:
#Quantum #ConsciousLiving #WisdomandInsights  #TimeManagement #Hindu #Vedic #Consciousness #SoulTherapy #SoulHealing #Heal #FindTime #Time