Typically when such things happen to us, we think of the other person as being rude or uncaring. We feel like they do not value us or are not interested enough to participate in our discussion. Our usual response to such behavior is that we try initiating contact a few times and then give up. Or get more aggressive by accusing them for their lack of response or possibly even take the ego-drama further by choosing to ignore that person as your way of “tit for tat”!
And like many things in life, it is not about a specific situation, a specific interaction and what someone else has done, but it is about what that situation or interaction means to us as an individual, what are we doing (karma) and what are we feeling, i.e. what are we taking away from that situation (which will add to our samskars, i.e. karmic tendencies) that really matters.
If we look at this situation carefully, when we initiate any contact with anyone be it verbal, via email or text, it is with the “expectation” of a response. The more we are brought up in a cordial society with norms around “manners and behavior”, the more these expectations get ingrained in us. BUT, if we really look at this situation objectively, it is us putting something out in the universe (our karma). Aaaand like all fruits of our actions (karma phal), the response is not in our hands. It will be as and when and the way it is appropriate for us (as per Universe’s determination) for our growth.
So, at a spiritual level, it is not about if that other person responded to us or not but it is really about how we are responding to that situation. Yes, it is true that you may be looking for factual information from that person which is needed for you to conduct your next step and so on. I am not speaking about this factual side of any interaction. In Sanskrit there is a word called ta-tha which means as it is or simply put- as is… it is the fact of a situation without all the other emotional and karmic cloud around it. So, I am not speaking about the Ta-tha of that situation, but what and how we are responding to it- our emotional (and karmic) response.
Because of this, by looking thru our response in such a situation, will allow us to figure out un-addressed or un-cleared lessons and samskars. Like all life situations we can utilize this scenario to help surface our un-addressed shadow side and once this shadow side is brought to “light”, it stops being a shadow and then can be actively cleared. Of course depending on the vastness and depth of this samskar, a simple clearing may suffice or possibly it may bring up many other lessons which are hidden under this vast blanket of “un-appreciation” or “rejection”.
What about the Ta-tha of that situation, well- that is the easy part of the problem. Once we remove the emotions and our sense of “identity fulfillment” from any situation, then addressing what is required is always the easy part. Maybe that person has still not read your message, or they are probably too caught up and are meaning to respond to you at leisure. So patiently waiting for their reply could be in order. It is also possible that the person ignored your message as a way to communicate their disinterest and probably the best response is for you to stop or alter your communication with them.
As I wrote above, it is not about the Ta-tha of a specific situation. It will be different for each situation, but once we remove our “reaction” and an “emotional, self-identifying” aspect from it, we remove our karmic association and samskar negativities! Thaaat is the key. Then when we perform the required action and usually it tends to come from a higher inspiration it tends to not only be the “right action” in that situation from a space of love and highest good for all concerned, but also an “a-karm”, where we are not identified with doing the action.
More on a-karm in another post. :-)